Rum--ble Zoom Zoom!

Rum--ble Zoom Zoom! Rum--ble Zoom Zoom! So the chant went tonight in my Village class for newborn to 1.5 year olds. It is the sound of a rocket ship, of course. On the Rum--ble mom's held babies tight and shook them a little like a tight hug with movement. On the Zoom Zoom! mom's swayed baby to the right and then the left. One little guy would laugh and giggle with delight on every Rum--ble and Zoom Zoom! So, people ask: "What do you do with babies?" We Rum--ble and Zoom Zoom! and listen and watch with delight as they have a wonderful time!!! P.S.~~Parents have fun too!

Birthday Blessings

In my Young Child class (for 5 to 7 year olds)we had some very thoughtful and loving girls give Mommy a beautiful gift! Toward the end of class these sisters (ages 5 and 7) told me that it was their Mom's birthday! I suggested that we all sing to her when the parents came into the room to be notified of the weeks music assignment. The girls then explained that they, in their family, sung a very special part after the traditional "Happy Birthday to You". Since we had no time to all learn it, I suggested that the sisters sing a duet at that part. Well, we all sang and then these sisters (who are very musically gifted) sang the most precious, thoughtful, and heartfelt "Gods Blessings to You". All us ladies in the room had tears in our eyes we were so touched. This mom, who was unsure of paying so much (because this class is a formal music lesson, it costs more) exclaimed a heartfelt: "Every penny is already worth it because of what I experienced today!" You see, this was the first class of the semester!!!!! Happy Birthday!

I Made a Mistake

I forgot the hand stamp last night! I ususally stamp the children's hands as I sing goodbye to them but last night I forgot it at home! Now, Alfie Kohn in his book "Unconditional Parenting" suggests that we be quick to admit our errors to children and apologize. He even suggests that parents find something to apologize about to their children once a week. This sets a powerful example for children to follow when they feel sorry and want to make ammends. It also reminds them of the fact that adults are fallible. We need not feel inadequate if we make mistakes, we just feel human. And that is how they should feel when they make a humanly mistake. So, I forgot and apologized. My 3 and 4 year olds understood even though they were very disappointed. So, when they look at their clean hand, I hope they remember this mistake and how I apologized to them!

No Time Out? Imagine That!

I have a great Imagine That! class this semester for 3 and 4 year olds! They are full of enthusiasm and energy and give me a good work out! I have been trying to apply some of Alfie Kohn's principles in all of my classes but especially this one because it is without the parent. I have to tell you that not having time out or any type of rewards (except for the joy of participation) it is very difficult. I am really making a commitment not to go backward in my new standards so I am ordering a few more of his books on classroom management to help. "Punnished by Rewards" and "From Compliance to Community". I thought that I would share my struggle with you as you may struggle with the same thing! Ok. These lovely preschoolers: they don't always do what I want. They don't always follow the structure of the class. But I am convinced that each one is learning music while having fun, forming community by making friends, and feels unconditionally accepted. No longer do I see faces drop when I explain that I have a time out area (because I no longer have one). It may take a little longer for the class to run more smoothly (at least by my standards) but I am sure that it is already better than before! Imagine That!

Transformations

In my Our Time class last night, it was rewarding to see the transformation of the group as a whole from the beginning to the end! It was the first class of the semester so many of the children and parents had never been before. In the very beginning of the class, one little one wanted to go home, one was crying, parents were forcing, the energy of the group was chaotic and tense. It didn't take long, however, for that to begin to change. The children realized that Kindermusik is fun and a cool place to be and began to smile and participate. Parents let loose a little and the group started to become more joyful. By the end, the parents were singing (which is very unusual for the first class) and children didn't want to go home!!! "We're coming back next week" became the phrase of the hour!

Warm Thoughts

This fall semester the Our Time curriculum is called "Milk and Cookies". It is not only about comfort foods but about all the comforts of home: family, friends, rocking chairs, and even tools in the garage! Besides the fact that I am trying to eat all organic and healthy foods and I get a craving for some sweets when I study my lessons, these topics are wonderfully warm. As we approach this cold season, lets remember to curl up with our loved ones and perhaps have some milk and cookies!

Sharing

Another idea that made an impression on me in Alfie Kohn's book "Unconditional Parenting" is how to handle sharing. He suggests that parents simply say something like this "I think that Johnny feels a little sad because he wants also to play with that toy. I'll bet he would really be happy to be able to play with it a little while." Then comes the hard part : leave it completely up to the child what to do with that information. Most children over 3years who are being raised this way want to make a contribution to the happiness of others. Under the age of three, I doubt that they would be moved by this because they wouldn't be able to understand what the other child was experiencing. But we can always make them aware. If they decide not to share it, maybe they are not done playing with it and need their own turn a little longer. They have to be able to meet their own needs as well. Maybe they are simply not ready for this skill of thinking outside the lines of their own ego (totally healthy and normal)! When given the benefit of the doubt, most children will exhibit prosocial behavior on their own. They like to see others smile too!

Battle of the Wills

I have been thinking about this radical acceptance of your children that Alfie talks about in his book "Unconditional Parenting". Not using a system of punishment and reward, he advocates a type of parenting that is child-specific, compassionate, and explanatory. This is a very difficult way of relating to children for most people in modern society. In my Developmental Psychology studies, I was amazed to follow the history of children in our society: how they have been viewed and treated until the present time. It really made me realize that we, as a society, are not really as progressive as we think we are. We can always learn to be more humane, loving, and respecting toward the most helpless members of our society. WE truly have a long way to go.

A type of parenting that assumes that the child is a social creature who wants to fit into his family and please his parents while being true to himself and his development, takes the fight out of the parent-child relationship. No longer would parents battle with the will of their child, but would consider that maybe a lot of things are ok that the child requests and why go to war over it! Once in a while, why not dessert before dinner. Only say "No" when what your child is asking is truly harmful or impossible. Why not leave them free? Why do we have so many points to prove with children:

We are in control.
We know everything.
We are never wrong.
You must obey all adults.

Really, WHY?? Let's stop and ask ourselves "Why?"! Are these things true? Of course not.

Alfie suggests that parents (and I say all adults in contact with children) should allow their children to see them as human. And I suggest that first, we need to accept OURSELVES as human beings with all of our splendorous flaws!